21 February 2008
So I'm doing Weight Watchers again. Last time I did it I lost almost 20 pounds and became a jogging freak. This time .... not so much. I miss running and the adrenaline high I got from it but I swear this last pregnancy did a number on me! I can run a mile and then I feel like I might explode...or implode...either way its not a high, its a total kill the motivation downer. I'm also only losing like a millionth of a pound a week instead of 1-2 pounds per week like last time. What?? I have weight to shed, this cannot be denied. I have minutes that I am 100 % motivated and minutes that I almost become "ok" with my current weight and size and just want to give up. But I'm telling you...the day my thighs don't touch when I walk and the morning I go back to jogging 3 miles for a work out is the time I hit a high note that I haven't sung in a while. I can't wait for that so I stare at my refrigerator...wishing it were filled with sugary goodness and dream of XL pizzas topped with every type of meat and extra cheese and have imaginary love affairs with giant whoppers and large size fries....and then I pull out the celery sticks (because I ALWAYS use up my freaking points too early in the day!) and pretend I'm a rabbit and love munching on vegitation, I drink 32 ounces of water to fill in the gaps and hope the next morning when I step on the scale my torture has paid off and another millionth of a pound has come off. Losing weight makes me a bitter woman....but when I wake up one morning and all of a sudden rediscover the fit and trim sexy woman my husband fell in love with and I miss to pieces it all be worth it.