30 September 2013

I didn't feel like studying anymore tonight, so I took one hundreth of what I just crammed into my brain and wrote a poem. I rather like it. 

Old MacDonald had a Pharm....and on that pharm was....

Thiazides...make me want to run and hides
Nitrostat...I'd rather make out with a rat
Diltiazem...trade me spots with someone in chem
Lasix...i'd do better figuring out draft picks
Quinidine...migraines and nails on a chalkboard combined
Propranolol...making us memorize all this crap...I'm appalled
Amiodarone...I'd rather downgrade to a flip phone

Pharmacology...sucks.

16 September 2013

My mother told me not too long ago that I choose to live life the hard way...and I've done that since I was a little girl.

I agree. 

Today I had a classmate tell me she had no idea how I handle school while having kids, because she thought just having a dog and going to school was difficult. My reply? You learn to live life like a walking zombie. I often wonder in the back of my mind if this is all worth it. The ever growing bags under my eyes, the time away from my kids and husband, my housework and laundry left behind, my yard overgrown, my sleep sporratic and light at best, headaches...

Then I remember the feeling I had when I prayed about nursing school. The blessings I've seen since starting this "hard way". How gaps have been bridged and goals exceeded when I had nothing left to give. When I get the gut-wrenching feeling of desperation and drive when I see someone suffering and know I can make a difference, or the smile on my face when I feel that quiet reassurance from my Maker reminding me He wouldn't have made this possible if it weren't in His grand plan for me.

I did have headaches today...my back hurt...I saw my kids for about 2 hours total...I didn't eat enough...I lost more hair...I have new aches and pains...and it all reminds me I'm still moving forward.

Yes...life the hard way...the real way.

10 September 2013

Today

Today was like....

*stepping in gum...with bare feet... in New York City
*holding a baby and having them pull an earring out of your ear
*holding same baby and feeling warm spit-up drip down your shirt into your bra
*having to pee during a traffic jam...and the nearest exit is 5 miles away
*popping a zit in high school and watching it swell to 5 times the size it was before...and homecoming is the next day
*taking a drink of expired chocolate milk
*having horrible gas pains while running
*fighting with your best friend
*trying to get a popcorn hull out of your teeth...5 days after you ate the popcorn
*finally getting to that exit in the traffic jam, finding a gas station, peeing.....no toilet paper
*sneeze-sploding while talking to your boss
*waxing half your eyebrow off
*throwing up bile
*making plans to sleep in....then remembering you have a long run in the morning
*walking into the sauna and getting comfy after a hard workout...only to be joined by the hairiest man alive....who chose NOT to wear deoderant while cycling
*breathing deeply in downward dog....then falling on your face when your foot slips on the hardwood
*setting your alarm for 6pm instead of 6am
*wearing heels with a heel blister
*walking out of the bathroom with wet splatter marks on your pants from the sink spraying you...and they are very inconveniently right across your zipper
*gagging on mucus from a way too productive cough...during a midterm exam...and you're sitting furthest away from the door
*sitting in the middle seat on the airplane...between newlyweds
*sitting in the middle seat on the airplane between chatty cathy and negative norman
*sitting in the aisle seat on the airplane...next to the lavatory door....with an IBS patient inside
*the taste of Pepto Bismol

.......the end.

09 September 2013

Totally tough weekend... (slowly bring in mournful cello music in backround)

I was supposed to run a half marathon on Saturday. I've trained for months, did it last year (and did it well, might I add), and was so ready. If I might be so bold as to say it, the universe threw everything it could at me to stop the race from happening, and in the end my body finally refused. Illness, exhaustion, asthma, stress fractures, uncontrollable weight gain, and some fancy frosting on top called a migraine.

It started the night before after stuffing myself full of pasta at Hu Hot to "carb up". Dull throbbing...fuzzy thinking...upset tummy...

By 2am I knew deep down it wasn't going anywhere. By 6:45am as we sat in the parking area near the starting line I finally gave in to the fact that this was not happening for me. (increase intentsity of mournful music to climax) I wanted to punch my window and kick rocks and yell into the sky "really?! REALLY?!".

I had a good cry, was tucked in by my Ma who was visiting, and after much rest and drug administration, I started feeling a little more normal about 10pm last night.

My friends ran great, persevered through the heat and humidity, and I'm so proud of them!

It didn't happen. It'll happen again. The end.