11 May 2010

Can I just say...?

Can I just say how inordinately lively this day has been? Thank you...I will. I will even illustrate. Hold on to your Special K bars, this will look and read like throwing up sounds.
First, I take out my frying pan from its usual nook in the oven drawer and I realize how truly scummy that drawer is. Peer closer...you can see the outline of my frying pan amidst the impurities. Behold...the after shot (enter heavenly choir).

Following this, I was bitten by the preparedness bug which set in motion what I like to call PMAT (preparing meals ahead of time). I rarely PMAT. Today I resolved to PMAT regularly instead.

The aroma in my kitchen was strange being that it was before 0900 and I was already tasting fajitas and roasted chicken thighs. I drooled a little.

Why a picture of bleach? Because when you inherit a colossal pet carrier from your parents, which was formerly used as a farm-cat house, and you choose to put your animal in it before cleaning it up first, you will beyond any doubt end up with your animal puking liquid farm-cat poo it licked off the carrier, not to mention stinking something awful. Here is Hugo after his bath. Might I add the fact that Great Value scents its bleach like lavender does in no way mean you should envision my house smelling like fields of blossoms.

This post in its entirety unfolded alongside a late morning appointment, a trip to Wal-Mart, and home for lunch. What I'm trying to say, really, is that it is only 1530 and I am ready to clock OUT! Lord please get me to bedtime with my hair in its roots and my paper towel roll with at least 3 sheets left on it.

10 May 2010

What are you Worth?

Oh please...now this caught my attention and made me feel like a mixed bag of emotions. Like a Wal-Mart plastic shopping bag that, of course, has holes in it type of bag. Supposedly you can go here and cry over what your salary should be as a stay-at-home mom.

I guess I'm supposed to be worth approximately $117,000.00 per year. This did NOT fulfill some empty space a therapist would tell me I need to fill in order to convince myself what I do is just as important as the female lawyer next door. In reality it felt somewhat degrading because this is an enormous calculatory error on the part of the 19 year-old techie who came up with the formula. And really? You want me to click on that link so I can print out a check and hang it on my fridge next to my toddler's scribbling of the dog's pile of poo? As if that is going to wondrously change my outlook on life. It certainly won't help me get up any earlier, fold the laundry any faster, wipe a bum any better, or make my lunch for me, now will it?

YOU are the only one that can determine and recognize your worth. What we do as MAH's (moms at home) can't be calculated by Tommy (I thought that sounded like a computer geek's name). In fact, our worth is already figured. Its spelled out in any Gospel doctrine you choose to research (within the standard works, anyway). We are DAUGHTERS OF DEITY! Not a dollar figure on an awful shade of blue printed check hanging on the fridge. Who cares about all of that, anyway. It never made a mom feel any more appreciated knowing what she "could" be making if staying home and raising kids were a "real" job.

Give me a sticky hand rubbing my cheek or a slimey kiss from a baby. Those are my rewards and I'm glad to have the rubbery dried snot on my shoulder instead of a big paycheck to show that I love my "job" and that it is truly meritorious.


I was lying in bed last night amused at the acronyms used to refer to Moms who choose to stay home with their children and all things related. I should've been sleeping. It probably would've made for a better blog post had I dozed off into dreamland, but my mind wouldn't stop churning out new and even better acronyms.

Here are some oldies but goodies:
SAHM - Stay At Home Mom
DH - Dearest Husband
DS - Dearest Son
DD - Dearest Daughter
I've even seen DT - Dearest Twins (laugh out loud)

Here is the new and improved list:
SAHSATIFOOR - Stays At Home Spending All Time In Front Of Oprah Reruns
CIBBHIT - Covered In Breakfast But Hanging In There
SAHAGADSIL - Stays At Home And Gets A Daily Shower If Lucky
NIWILF - Naptime Is What I Live For
DS-AUKHALIIT - Dearest Son- Are You Kidding How About Loudest Infant In Town
INAMAP - I Need A Massage And Pedicure

Does it weird me out that these are the things running through my mind at 11pm? Nah...because I'm a SAASAHMHIHOMSS (Stressed And Anxious Stay At Home Mom Hoping I Help Other Moms Stay Sane). Acronyms make me grin. In any case, it was enough to help me get my mind off the laundry for a few minutes.

Make me grin moment!
What acronyms have you thought of related to our special stay-at-home world? Leave me a comment!