Just keep swimming...

My daughter turns 3 today. Hard to believe. We are having a Mickey Mouse theme because her obsession has migrated from Elmo to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and this is a good thing, trust me. When I start having feelings of malice and hatred toward a Sesame Street character (the furry annoyance himself) its time to assist my kids in discovering there is more to the cartoon world than whiney, red, fuzzy monster-toddlers.

I must share my daughter's newest traumatizing moment. What you must know about Queenie is she is an enormously sensitive creature. Collapsing to a pile of limbs and tears at the most unexpected trigger (such as singing happy birthday to my Mother) is nothing unusual.

Yesterday while at the mall with my cousin and her children, Queenie needed a potty break. We chose the family bathroom because there is a "Mattea sized potty", as we call it, next to the adult sized potty. Now...I have decided potties, adult sized ones anyway, must look like giant and frightening ceramic pits in the wall or ground to a toddler. This is how I bet she sees them...



Familiar nervous issues prevented her from going "peeps", what she calls pee-pee, so I sat down and went in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable. I glanced over to ask her if she'd gone yet, and witnessed her sliding herself further back on the potty and I immediately knew what would follow. Sure enough, her tiny little bottom instantly sank into the potty and all I saw was Queenie from the chest up and legs sticking out and flailing because she had fallen in. I was laughing so hard I could barely get myself off the potty and all she could manage to say was "Oh! I kuck!" (stuck) I admit it took me an unacceptable amount of time to rescue her because of my inability to move through the stomach ache of a laugh attack I had. I even debated on digging out my iphone and snapping a picture to send to Daddy. I didn't.

It will forever be one of my best memories of my sensitive little princess. Happy 3rd Birtday to my darling baby girl.

Oddly enough...

Lots of uncertainty in my future used to mean a constant struggle with myself. What I mean is that I am a chronic worrier. I will worry that I'm not worrying if it is necessary. I have gotten help with this (pharmaceutically speaking...see previous post) but I think I can finally say my faith has been strengthened.

For years I've wanted to be like all those "other people" I know who have such amazing faith in God to provide their every need. I, on the other hand, tend to absolutely freak about every need, proclaim my life to be in shambles, my situation unfair, and the solution impossible....and I do mean every little thing.

Its not that I never trusted in my Heavenly Father. I did. But my tendency to look for temporal solutions and ideas always came first and prayer and faith were like the emergency shoot that pops out at the last minute. I could've simply relied on my knees a little more instead of stressing my mind.

Fortunately I can say now I feel I've finally started to overcome...myself. I don't have to always make everything right. Its not humanly possible. Making everything right is only divinely possible and that has got to be good enough. That has got to be acceptable and I'm so happy that I have accepted it!

I'm so thankful to have a testimony of being known and loved personally by God and my brother Jesus. Father knows my needs. He will make everything right. He will fix what needs fixed and heal what needs healed and Christ will laugh with me and cry with me and in the forefront of it all is my salvation thanks to my Savior.

This is NOT what I meant to blog about. The thoughts sort of just spewed out and look what happened. I feel better now.