Oddly enough...

Lots of uncertainty in my future used to mean a constant struggle with myself. What I mean is that I am a chronic worrier. I will worry that I'm not worrying if it is necessary. I have gotten help with this (pharmaceutically speaking...see previous post) but I think I can finally say my faith has been strengthened.

For years I've wanted to be like all those "other people" I know who have such amazing faith in God to provide their every need. I, on the other hand, tend to absolutely freak about every need, proclaim my life to be in shambles, my situation unfair, and the solution impossible....and I do mean every little thing.

Its not that I never trusted in my Heavenly Father. I did. But my tendency to look for temporal solutions and ideas always came first and prayer and faith were like the emergency shoot that pops out at the last minute. I could've simply relied on my knees a little more instead of stressing my mind.

Fortunately I can say now I feel I've finally started to overcome...myself. I don't have to always make everything right. Its not humanly possible. Making everything right is only divinely possible and that has got to be good enough. That has got to be acceptable and I'm so happy that I have accepted it!

I'm so thankful to have a testimony of being known and loved personally by God and my brother Jesus. Father knows my needs. He will make everything right. He will fix what needs fixed and heal what needs healed and Christ will laugh with me and cry with me and in the forefront of it all is my salvation thanks to my Savior.

This is NOT what I meant to blog about. The thoughts sort of just spewed out and look what happened. I feel better now.