Friends and the Military

Apparently I stink at making friends! When we moved to our first duty station, I was torn to pieces having to leave my friends back home. OK, so I only had like a handful of friends, but I'm at the point in my life where I only need that many and the rest can be filed under acquaintances. But really, it took me almost 9 months to make a good friend when we moved! I met people, talked to my neighbor almost every day, knew people at church, etc. but never really clicked with anyone until a few months before we moved again. I miss her to bits now along with my friends back home!

I've tried to fit in to a couple different online yahoo groups. I am trying to have my own business (successfully) so I joined one for that specifically. I'm not sure I've ever had a "post" acknowledged on that one. Another one I'm part of is great. I get a lot of my information from there and am able to comment or vent or whatever...but I've only met like two of those women in person and really haven't spoken to them since! My neighbors have only spoken briefly to me. At least the ones on the sides of my house have. The ones across or down the street a little ways haven't even acknowledged us.

I've met one person that I have felt comfortable around. She's spunky, fun, has kids for mine to play with, and loves to be spontaneous. We have those things in common. So far we've gone on a last minute midnight trip to the Survivor auditions, the pool, we've had dinner at their house once and gone to the gym. I think she'll probably end up being the person I "click" with here. Still...I want to have more than one friend! I know I can come off as being a little intimidating because I'm quiet when I first meet people. I like to watch people and see their personalities before I expose my own. I like to see how they talk...do they spend their time gossiping or backbiting? Do they have hobbies I also like? Are they too afraid to go on spur of the moment shopping or beach trips with me?

Its inevitable, in the military, that spouses get lonely. But seriously...I'm on a post surrounded by other spouses probably thinking the same thing and I can't seem to find where I belong. We make playgroups for our kids, have playdates at the park or pool, have virtual conversations on the internet...but where are the adult playgroups? Where are the playdates for grown ups where we can interact in person? How am I supposed to grow a bond with these women when I can't seem to find them...even within this tiny area?

I think I'm outgoing, but maybe I need to be more inviting. I could start a group specifically for hobbies and things I like to do....instead of going to ones that I hate but do it out of desperation for an evening of adult conversation and keeping a shirt clean of slobber for a while? I'd love to have people come to my house to have dinner or a game night. I just never invite people because part of me is afraid they would look at me and think "ugh...I guess I'll say yes, its free food" but another part of me knows that in order for me to stay sane and have fun, I need to do it.

Man...I sound like a big whiner or wimp right now...but I had to vent. Its been a long time since I've been able to just have time with a friend (in person, not email or phone) and its really wearing on me!